First, you are thinking, what’s Nonverbal Leadership?
In April 2007, I had an epiphany that changed my work, changed my life!
By nature, I was shy and cerebral. I stuttered and bored people. Today, I joke that when the kids in the neighborhood played doctor, they made me the anesthesiologist. I couldn’t look people in the eye while speaking. Small-talk terrified me. No deodorant was strong enough to safely help me through a networking event or a job interview.
Don’t get me wrong, I was functional. I traveling around the world, as a consultant and executive, helping companies make millions. I studied psychology, influence, and leadership most of my life in hopes of improving my social anxiety, but really my success was more with systems and processes than with people.
WOW, my life is different. Today, everyone thinks I’m a “people genius”.
Did you know there are over 20 schools of thought in psychology and therapy and over 20 schools of leadership? How can they all be valid and different at the same time? I’ve wondered about those incongruencies my whole career.
Well, I’ve got it. Within three weeks of my breakthrough, a total stranger contacted me and insisted on being my client. Within 6 months, several people stopped me and asked, “Are you someone important?” Since my epiphany, I have at least tripled my personal power, and clients keep tracking me down. What a relief: no more tight throats, self-consciousness, or excessive trips to the dry cleaners.
I made two shifts. The easier one to explain is that I started consciously controlling my nonverbal signals. That’s Nonverbal Leadership (NVL)… taking responsibility for what you “say” nonverbally (and reaping the benefits).
We humans process nonverbal signals on a separate channel, in different parts of the brain, than verbal communications. In face-to-face situations, nonverbal signals win. Turn down the sound. I can still tell whether you will negotiate a raise, close the sale, go on a date, exchange business cards, raise capital, or land the job.
#1 NVL is Subliminal
Yes, that means sneaky. The conscious mind, where words are processed, tends to resist influence. Better to bypass it. Nonverbal signals are processed unconsciously, in the brain areas close to feelings, intentions, patterns, and memories. If you really want to move people and touch their hearts, stop over-thinking the words, and focus on the delivery. Influence without resistance or awareness is a good thing. Nonverbal Leadership is as subtle and imperceptible as breathing. Some people might even pay to learn how to do that, don’t you think?
#2 NVL is Universal
Works on Everyone
All group animals including fish and crocodiles, mate, parent, cooperate, hunt and defend together. Humans have been doing the same for millions of years, without words. Nonverbal signals are woven into the fabric of life, from crying babies to the quiet sadness of death. We are born social and nonverbal geniuses, because it’s in our genes.
Works for Anyone
If you learned something as unnatural as riding a bike, swimming, or driving a car, then you can easily learn to have more control over your everyday body movements and vocal tones, right?
Works in any Situation
Nonverbal signals permeate every human interaction, whether we are aware of them or not.
- Job interviews
- Salary negotiations
- Team dynamics
- Leadership/Followership
- Customer Service
- Sales
- Marketing (especially branding)
- Competition and Conflict
- Making friends
- Dating and marriage
- Parenting
In face-to-face interactions, nonverbal communication is 60% to 70% of the message. How can anyone expect to be an effective communicator without Nonverbal Leadership?
#3 NVL is Powerful
Nonverbal signals alter feelings and intentions, the deep drivers of human behaviors. While words are processed slowly and sequentially, nonverbal signals enter the brain at broadband speed, simultaneously through multiple senses. Words are one-way communications. Nonverbal signals are simultaneous exchanges. For example, head nodding by the listener, triples the talk time of the speaker. Remember, you cannot not-communicate nonverbally, and everyone has far more subliminal power than they realize. Imagine being able to tap into and develop your NV power?
#4 NVL is Magical
Remember a time when you and a stranger just clicked? Or a business negation went perfectly? You spent quite time with a friend, child or partner without speaking, yet you were totally connected? Ever nail a job interview? Have a blast working a room? Move an audience to tears? When was the last time you had a deep, authentic conversation? These moments are magical. When you master your nonverbal leadership, you experience nonverbal magic daily.
On the other hand, when communications are strained and difficult, your body undergoes stress. Many people hate networking, being with strangers, pubic speaking, presenting at meeting, bar scenes, dating, parenting, dealing with conflict, and selling. True? Children with ineffective nonverbal signals are shunted and bullied. Shyness hurts inside in a very physical way. Many people struggle to connect with others and secretly live quiet, lonely lives. It doesn’t have to be that way. I call the shift in being and those special moments, Nonverbal Magic. Life is too short to settle for a stunted professional and personal existence, isn’t it?
You can influence others subliminally to make a better life for yourself and others.
Why are many Body Language Experts Clueless?
Their approach is, “read a person like a book.” That’s passive, static, disconnected. Relationships and nonverbal communications are two-way, simultaneous, and dynamic. Interacting humans form a system. Each interaction is a process, similar to a dance, with music and steps, leading and following, to a conclusion. The process of negotiating is a different from leading, networking, selling, and flirting. Selling to a CEO is different from selling at Best Buy. Nonverbal Leadership doesn’t see people as books to read, but rather choreographs the music and dance of relationships to create magic.
Group and subgroup dynamics, with shifting alliances, add to the complexity of communications, however, even these processes can be led and outcomes improved by using Nonverbal Leadership. Knowing that a head tilt means that someone is listening is useful, but it won’t change your life.
You Want a more Connected and Successful Life, don’t you?
People define success in many ways: career, money, friendship, mating, parenting, and making a difference in the world. The way people treat you depends on the powerful (or weak) signals that you send and receive. Imagine what happens when you send subliminal signals that say “Don’t pay attention to me; I am unimportant.” Or “I’m not approachable or likable.” Think these signals might block someone’s success?
Who do I Serve?
I help job seekers, thought leaders, salespeople, female executives, experts, entrepreneurs, consultants…anyone who doesn’t feel heard, who needs to influence without power, or who isn’t getting the respect or rewards they deserve. My intention is to enable you to do great things.
Benefits
If you aren’t as successful as you deserve, most likely, the main problem is that you are misreading and misfiring your nonverbal signals. When you use Nonverbal Leadership well, you feel more confident, interesting, attractive, respected, comfortable in your own skin, and in control of relationships and your life. Life flows. Here’s the cool part: others change the way they treat you, because you change your signals, and they have no idea what’s different. It’s universal, predictable, and subliminal.
Here’s everyone’s big challenge: You are unaware of the nonverbal signals that you send. So, how can you fix them by yourself? Don’t you need a mirror: an honest, knowledgeable, professional whose feedback enables you to see yourself as others do? Don’t you need a mentor to teach you how to turn on the right signals, at the right moment, to subtlety control how others treat you, and create Nonverbal Magic?
Many people make a breakthrough within hours of working together.
As a skilled trainer and coach, you won’t just develop new skills; you also acquire the feelings, intentions, and beliefs you need for a better life, for the rest of your days.
- Here’s a valuable bonus: You get to keep the video recordings and materials.
- One more bonus: If you aren’t happy, I refund your money. There is no other way to do business, is there?
All training is customized to match your most pressing need.
“You gave me wings to soar! I will recommend you until I’m blue in the face! You equipped me with some tools that were missing from my tool box–thank you!” — Tyler Cox
Are you ready?
No matter who you are, there’s greatness in you. Don’t you deserve a life where you and others benefit from your Nonverbal Leadership?
Click to start making a difference…
In April 2007, I had an epiphany that changed my work, changed my life!
By nature, I was shy and cerebral. I stuttered and bored people. Today, I joke that when the kids in the neighborhood played doctor, they made me the anesthesiologist. I couldn’t look people in the eye while speaking. Small-talk terrified me. No deodorant was strong enough to safely help me through a networking event or a job interview.
Don’t get me wrong, I was functional. I traveling around the world, as a consultant and executive, helping companies make millions. I studied psychology, influence, and leadership most of my life in hopes of improving my social anxiety, but really my success was more with systems and processes than with people.
WOW, my life is different. Today, everyone thinks I’m a “people genius”.
Did you know there are over 20 schools of thought in psychology and therapy and over 20 schools of leadership? How can they all be valid and different at the same time? I’ve wondered about those incongruencies my whole career.
Well, I’ve got it. Within three weeks of my breakthrough, a total stranger contacted me and insisted on being my client. Within 6 months, several people stopped me and asked, “Are you someone important?” Since my epiphany, I have at least tripled my personal power, and clients keep tracking me down. What a relief: no more tight throats, self-consciousness, or excessive trips to the dry cleaners.
I made two shifts. The easier one to explain is that I started consciously controlling my nonverbal signals. That’s Nonverbal Leadership… taking responsibility for what you “say” nonverbally (and reaping the benefits).
We humans process nonverbal signals on a separate channel, in different parts of the brain, than verbal communications. In face-to-face situations, nonverbal signals win. Turn down the sound. I can still tell whether you will negotiate a raise, close the sale, go on a date, exchange business cards, raise capital, or land the job.
